Attachment theory is best known in reference to studies that demonstrated the fundamental need for young children to feel safe and secure in their bonds with parents and caregivers. It turns out that the same needs and longings for safety and security exist in older children and adults. In fact, it is the thwarting of these needs that is at the heart of the vast majority of relationship distress.

Our attachment-related concerns can be summarised in two questions, each reflecting a different attachment insecurity:

1. Will you be there for me if I need you?

2. Am I enough for you?

We all recognise that sadness is a normal reaction to significant loss, such as the death of a loved one. And we understand that stress and anxiety are common experiences in situations of pressure and threat. So what’s the difference between a healthy brain responding normally to adversity, and a disordered brain suffering from a mental illness? At what point do we determine that psychological difficulties are no longer attributable to one’s circumstances, but reflect some sort of abnormality in brain function?